GAIN THE SKILLS TO LIVE STRONG 

By Durrell Dixon | Faith-Based Personal Development Coach & Christian Psychology Advocate

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power.” – Ephesians 6:10

The word be has a significant meaning for me. God says, “Be strong,” Not feel strong.

You see the difference? 

One is a call to identity. The other is an emotional experience. And the two aren’t always in sync. That’s where many of us wrestle—between how we feel and who we’re called to be.

Being vs. Feeling: What’s the Difference?

To be something means to exist in a certain state, whether you feel it or not. It’s a position you hold. A foundation you stand on. The Greek verb used in Ephesians 6:10 is “endynamousthe,” meaning “be continually empowered” or “be strengthened continually.”  And it's constantly believing you are. That’s not just emotional energy—it’s ongoing empowerment.

Feeling, on the other hand, is fleeting. It’s driven by internal emotion and external circumstance. You might feel happy one moment, sad the next. But being strong in the Lord? That’s a decision to trust His love for you and His power, regardless of your emotions.

And that’s a critical truth in our faith walk: God calls us to be, not just to feel.

Why We Chase Feelings Instead of Strength

We live in a culture that teaches us to chase the next good feeling. Something stressful happens? Stream a show. Feel rejected- scroll for validation. Need comfort - overeat, overspend, overcompensate.

Psychology explains this in terms of operant conditioning. When we experience discomfort, we look for quick rewards that give us a “hit” of dopamine—your brain’s chemical shortcut to feeling good (Skinner, 1953; Schultz, 2021). But the problem is that feelings fade, and the cost of chasing them keeps rising.

In spiritual terms, this becomes a trap. Instead of living from God’s strength, we look for shortcuts to relief. We avoid the harder road of being made strong in the Lord—because it requires endurance, trust, and training.

Being Good Requires a Process

To be honest. “Being good”—meaning walking upright, staying obedient, acting in godly character—doesn’t always feel good. It’s rarely fast. It often comes with resistance.

But the Word says in Galatians 6:9:

“Let us not grow weary in well doing, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

Notice the connection? Being good leads to a harvest, but only if we don’t give up. That’s the process. That’s a strength that’s built, not borrowed.

Research in Self-Determination Theory suggests that long-term well-being is grounded not in temporary pleasures but in meaning, purpose, and perseverance (Deci & Ryan, 2000). These qualities are developed over time through discipline and alignment with deeply held values. This is the definition of sanctification.

God Gives Strength to Be, Not Just to Feel

Here’s what I love about God—He doesn’t say, “Be strong, now go figure it out.” He says, “Be strong in Me.”

The strength isn’t yours to create, it’s His to give.

Isaiah 40:29 says, “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.”
That’s more than motivational. That’s covenant truth. And it’s backed by evidence in how the Spirit works in us.

A 2022  study published in the Journal of Psychology and Christianity found that regular spiritual practices—like prayer, Bible reading, and communal worship—predict increased resilience, emotional regulation, and long-term goal setting (Koenig et al., 2022).  I experienced, the more you abide in Him, the more capable you are of being strong, even when you don’t feel like it.

Practical Ways to “Be” Strong in the Lord

How do you be strong when everything around you says otherwise?

Here are three ways to begin building that kind of strength:

1. Start with the Word. Read Ephesians 6:10–18 and meditate on what God says about your armor. Strength starts with truth.

2. Surrender Your Feelings to God. Don’t ignore your emotions—submit them. Tell God exactly how you feel, and then ask Him to strengthen you anyway. One way to do this is the STOP method:

S – Stop
Pause when intense feelings rise (anger, fear, sadness, etc.).
Take a moment. Don’t react. Don’t speak. Just pause. 

Invite the Lord into the moment 
“Lord, I pause in Your presence and invite You into this moment. I choose to be still before I speak or act.”

T – Take a Breath
Breathe deeply to calm your nervous system. Inhale slowly, hold, then exhale.
Try: Inhale:“You are with me.”Exhale: “I will not be shaken.”

O – Observe
Name your feelings without judgment. Bring them to God.
“Lord, I feel overwhelmed… afraid… bitter… confused.”
Ask questions like: What am I feeling? Where is this coming from? What thought(s) are feeding this feeling? Is it true—or just loud?

P – Pray and Proceed in Peace
Surrender the emotion. Don’t fix—offer it.
“God, I submit this emotion to You. I trust You more than I trust how I feel. Strengthen me in this moment with Your peace.”
Ask for what you need—strength, wisdom, stillness. Then move forward with what God reveals.

3. Stay Consistent in the Process. Small, consistent acts of obedience build spiritual muscle. Show up in prayer. Let Scripture guide your actions. Practice total surrender. That’s how you become strong.

You don’t have to feel strong to be strong in the Lord. His strength doesn’t come from your mood. It flows from His presence.

So today, stop waiting to feel better before you obey. Stop waiting to feel strong before you take that step of faith. Just be who God called you to be.

Because when you become strong in Him, you won’t just survive your battles—you’ll stand in the middle of them, unshaken. And the world will know your strength isn’t your own. It’s His.

References

• Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2000). The "what" and "why" of goal pursuits: Human needs and the self-determination of behavior. Psychological Inquiry, 11(4), 227–268.

• Koenig, H. G., Berk, L. S., Daher, N., & Pearce, M. J. (2022). Spirituality and resilience: A 2-year longitudinal study among religious adults. Journal of Psychology and Christianity, 41(1), 33–44.

• Schultz, W. (2021). Dopamine and behavior: More than motivation. Frontiers in Psychology, 12, 675749.

• Skinner, B. F. (1953). Science and Human Behavior. New York: Macmillan.